Profesora, te odio

The following is an excerpt from this morning's spanish class translated to english: 

Teacher: Can someone please describe to us what their home nation looks like using the terms we just discussed?

(A pause for maybe slightly longer than human reaction time)

Teacher:HALOOOOOOOOOO

Nick: Kill me.

And so continues an hour and a half every wednesday. To call it frustrating is an understatement. I believe maddening is more to the point.

Whenever someone is talking she wants us to act interested and say things like, "Oh really?" because that is what latinos do; according to her. I am neither latino, nor do I care about the geographical specifications of Massachusetts.

We then somehow got on the topic of rain in southeast Asia, and someone asked how to say, "Monsoon", the teacher explained how to say it but then said that she was not sure whether or not there are monsoons in southeast Asia. I raised my hand and said that, in fact, there are monsoons in southeast Asia. To this she responded, "Oh really, you know this for a fact?" I reaffirmed the fact that monsoons occur in southeast Asia to which she responded, "So you've experienced this then?"

No, I haven't. But I get the effing discovery channel, and I've seen Forest Gump. Globalization rules.

I did, however, have a revelation about her teaching style. It is actually very effective. If I don't make errors when I speak, I don't have to hear her speak. Win win. My spanish gets better and she stays quiet.

In other news, my Latin American politics class is canceled for tomorrow, this would be the 5th class that will not be occurring. I love this country.

La Universidad de Chile

With the second week of classes, I have finally attended two classes. Within the first week we had a Spanish placement exam, and several canceled classes. I actually was not able to register for classes before they started, it's a pretty great system.

This week I arrived to my 8:30 AM class only to discover that it was canceled. The total amount of time I will spend in class for this week is 8 hours and that includes the 2 hours of class that are part of my abroad program.

Now I'm not one to complain about not having class, so let's look at the bright side of my Latin American politics class being canceled. It seems that I am actually learning something about Latin American politics. The only difference is that I can't bribe the guy at the front desk to call me if there isn't class so I don't have to drag my ass halfway across the city on the Tokyo subway at 7:30 in the morning.

As far as the main campus goes, I do believe it is the stereotype of stereotypes for college campuses. If you wish to participate in some experimental activities you needn't look further than the campus itself as the police are not allowed inside the gates.

I do believe that having a good hairstyle is illegal in Chile, given some of the styles that I have seen. If you fancy the mullet, buy your plane tickets now. My personal favorite look is the girl with half of her head shaved and the other half is past her shoulders. I have yet to figure out what statement she is trying to make, but I think it has something to do with heroin and not enough hugs.

La Burocracia

I recently had the pleasure to experience; first hand, the Chilean bureaucracy. All persons living in Chile under anything other than a tourist visa must register their visa with the international police at one office, then take their registration information to another office to register for an identity card.

Clearly this is the best way to run this system. Of course I want to go wait for an hour at one office to receive a sheet of paper telling me I have to go wait in line at a place that is across town. Things should be so simple.

So last monday I decided to show up at the Civil Registration office at 11 in the morning, thinking this was sufficient. Never in my life have I been so wrong. There is a deli type number system in hell, I mean the office. When I arrived the number on the board was B-62, the number I chose was D-35. When I decided to leave; roughly one hour later, the number was B-72.

The next morning I returned at 7:45 with the appropriate documents. More than ready to wage war on this system. I was already 15 people back when I got in line outside the building. I waited for 45 minutes until the doors were opened to the public. As soon as people entered the gates chaos ensued. I witnessed a grown man cut an old woman in line, and justify it to her with the logic that the line was outside the gate. Once I made it to the number dispenser I pulled a 76. I only had to wait 10 turns!

I then realized why cutting was an absolutely necessary phenomenon of that dreadful office. Each person you cut in front of is literally saving you 5-10 minutes of your life. Perhaps one day, Santiago can have one registration office. That is a world in which I would like to live.

Que te vayas bien, Catcher!

O Catcher! My Catcher! Our great journey is done;

You have drooled over every snack, you never missed a crumb;

The big guy is near, your squeaks I hear, as you prepare your greeting,

To your bed you do not heel, your bone in mouth and gleaming:

Squeak squeak bark! bark! bark!

O its just the cat instead,

Elsewhere my Catcher lies,

Your sleeping cold and dead.

O Catcher! My Catcher! Rise up and sound off!

Rise up- for you the scraps are flung- for you the big guy whistles;

For you Iams and canned pumpkin- for you the cat is punking;

For you they call, Smokey and Morgan, their eager noses rising;

Here Catcher! Dear brother!

This arm beneath your head;

It is some dream that at the vet,

You're sleeping cold and dead.

My Catcher does not answer, his nose is pale and still;

My brother does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;

The boy is in Chile safe and sound, his voyage just begun;

The world stops not, massive lot, continues with things to be done;

Drive, O cars and fly, O planes!

But I, with mournful tread,

Walk the world where my Catcher lies,

Sleeping cold and dead.

Finalmente, Chile!

I have finally arrived in Chile, my home for the next few months. I find it to be like the Switzerland of South America. For example, the difference between Chilean drivers and Argentine drivers is much like that of the difference between Swiss drivers and Italian drivers. The Chileans are also much more reserved than the Argentines, it must be the mountains.

I am living with a great family here in Chile; I have a host father and mother, a brother and a sister. My brother is entering his first year in university this semester, and my sister is in high school.

We live in Providencia, a very residential middle class area, and our house is very close to the metro.

I have only ever mentioned Pinochet once, and nothing was really said in response. Since then I have not mentioned him. In reality Pinochet is not hated by all the people of Chile. In 1988 he was only ousted by a 5% majority and he held an influence on the government for years after. To many Pinochet saved the country from communism and the perils of Allende Socialism.

When Allende took over the government in 1970 there was a huge economic recession, not because of Allende's policy but because the U.S. withdrew its support which floated the centrist governments of the past. In addition to the withdrawal of U.S. support right-wing business owners stopped selling basic products such as groceries, which created a sense of crisis in the country.

On September 11th, 1973 Pinochet took over the government in a military coup which was heavily supported and influenced by the Nixon administration; President Nixon frequently referred to Salvador Allende as a, "Son of a Bitch". In a great assertion of power, the Chilean Air Force bombed the Presidential Palace; la Moneda, until its inhabitants surrendered. Rather than be captured by the military, Salvador Allende took his own life.

It amazes me to think that despite countless actions like this, the United States has yet to rethink its position in the World. We have the power to do great things for the Global Community, yet we actively choose to do harm to it.